Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Reader(s)



I'll be taking an indefinite hiatus from the blog. Now go live your lives.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


A court in Germany has fined a man over 1200 dollars for knocking off the head off a waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler in a Berlin museum. The judge reprimanded the man, saying you can’t just going around trying to destroy things just because their different than you.

Sources are saying that Brad Pitt has been drunk calling his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston saying that he is sorry and that he misses her, thus giving hope to the hundreds of women with phone numbers just one digit off from Jennifer Aniston’s.

When the Space Shuttle Atlantis lifted off on Monday it took with it a basketball that belonged to the Harlem Globetrotters. Then on Tuesday it was reported that the Space Shuttle Atlantis spilled a bucket of glitter on Mars and pantsed Jupiter.

The first streaker ever at Citi Field, the New York Mets' new stadium, ran onto the field Tuesday. Let’s just say it was not the moment you wanted to be staring at the Jumbo Tron.

Harrison Ford revealed this week that he is engaged to his longtime girlfriend Calista Flockhart. Sources say he put a ring around her finger then watched her tip over.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Julia Roberts was photographed this week with a tattoo on her lower back that features the names of her three children. Julia said she got the tattoos so it would be easier for everyone who kisses her ass to remember her kid’s names.

A man in Georgia is recovering after becoming the first US recipient of a double hand transplant. The operation had a few hitches, but the patient still gave his surgeons two left thumbs up.

In an interview on the Insider, Lorena Bobbitt says that even 15 years after she cut off her husband's penis, he continues to sends her roses. Bobbit says she looks forward to receiving them so she can cut off the stems.

The National Rifle Association next week will present Alaska Governor Sarah Palin with an all white M-4 military rifle called the "Alaskan Hunter.” So... lay low, Levi.

Senator Chuck Schumer from New York this week proposed that the IHOP chain in New York start using only maple syrup produced in the state. And lose all its “international” credibility?

This week, Chanel, who has been named the world's oldest dog by Guinness World Records, turned 21 years old. This dog is so old, he started digging a hole in his back yard to bury himself.

A stunt man filming a car chase in New York's Times Square for a new Nicolas Cage movie crashed his Ferrari into a Sbarro’s Restaurant. The crash injured two, while the food at Sbarro’s killed 6.

A man in Texas is auctioning off the original recipe for Dr. Pepper. Sources say the recipe reveals the secret ingredient is one dollar so you can go the store and buy a can of Dr. Pepper.