Paris Hilton canceled an appearance at next week's Billboard Music Awards because she didn’t like the jokes written for her making fun of her piers. Paris will be replaced by a series of jokes making fun of Paris Hilton.

At least 11 people who ate at a Taco Bell in New Jersey are suffering from E. coli bacterial infections, thus making the E. colinchilada a complete failure.

Airport officials are considering setting aside a private area for Muslims to pray. The area will be called a holding cell.

A new collection of children’s books will be inspired by and bear Muhammad Ali’s name. The first in the series, See Dick’s Face Get Beaten to A Pulp, should be out in time for Christmas.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez stormed to a re-election victory. This is the guy who’s fond of calling Bush the devil. In other words, he won running on the Democratic platform.