Tuesday, July 1, 2008


A surprising new study shows that the majority of firearm deaths are from suicide. Jeez. How long is the waiting period for sleeping pills?

The United States leads the world in rates of marijuana and cocaine use, World Health Organization researchers said on Tuesday. How bad is our habit? We just pawned Rhode Island to buy an eight ball.

Astronomers have discovered that Earth emits an ear-piercing series of chirps that could be heard by any aliens who might be listening. Just in case, on the count of three, everyone yell, “sorry about the noise”.

Former President Bill Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama talked on the phone Monday morning. The call ended like most of Clinton’s calls: with Bill abruptly hanging up when his wife walked in.

Video game developer Activision released a version of its popular “Guitar Hero” game featuring songs exclusively from Aerosmith. The game’s release was delayed after early testing showed players checking into rehab after every other song.

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