Thursday, March 8, 2007

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards has stated he won't be participating in a debate co-hosted by Fox News Channel. And really, who can blame him; Fox was promoting the debate as “Fey and Balanced”.

A number of the new George Washington dollar coins were mistakenly issued without the inscription, "In God We Trust." Officials say they’re are still okay to use, though in the end they’re all going to coin hell.

A man who once weighed well over a half ton left his house for the first time in five years yesterday. The man says he’s learned his lesson, and this time out he’ll be buying a ten-year supply of Twinkies.

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Marvel comic book legend Captain America has been shot dead. He is survived by his wife, Big Oil, and his children, Uninsured and Half-retarded.

Lesser-known Marvel comic superhero, Col. Naked America has called dibs on his suit.