Monday, March 12, 2007

Osama bin Laden turned 50 years old over the weekend. Never one to forget, President Bush sent the al Qaeda leader a dozen empty threats.

Arriving in Columbia this weekend, the President was greeted by angry rioters and massive protests. Bush told Columbian leaders that with that kind of treatment, he’s got a good mind to take his county’s cocaine buying habits elsewhere.

Chinese lawmakers want to remove Starbucks from Beijing's famed Forbidden City, saying its presence was a smear on China's historical legacy. Also, they don’t appreciate the adapted size denominations, “Minuscule”, “Small” and “Yao Ming”.

Halliburton is reportedly moving its corporate headquarters from Houston to Dubai. Apparently, there wasn’t enough space in Cheney’s back pocket.

Envoys from Iran and the U.S talked directly for the first time in 28 years. So far, both countries have agreed that the fat kid with the curly hair has a good shot at being the next American Idol. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.