Wednesday, April 18, 2007

BlackBerry service went down across North America from Tuesday evening to Wednesday morning, in period that live on in infamy as, “That time I had to talk to the person I was with.”

In the wake of Don Imus' firing, a number of high-powered music-industry executives met privately in New York City to discuss artistic expression, misogynistic rap lyrics, and who gets to sign Sanjaya.

Preparations to sedate as many as 300 horses stabled at Belgrade's racecourse to keep them calm during a Rolling Stones concert have enraged Serb animal lovers. So far, no one’s protested Keith Richard’s preparations to sedate himself in Belgrade.

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A young minke whale that has drifted off course and wound up in a small bay off Brooklyn beached himself and died tonight. He will be missed, and then he will be gutted and converted into 1600 sf luxury apartment.

Experts said they were surprised to see anything that big come to New York that isn’t wearing a fanny pack and asking “which way to ground zero?”