MSNBC has suspended Don Imus for two weeks for his controversial remarks. For politically incorrect jabs and cranky political commentary during his absence, please tune in to your completely out of touch, racist grandfather.

Martha Stewart packed her billionaire astronaut friend a gourmet lunch consisting of duck breast confit and semolina cake with dried apricots. This should help NASA determine the effects of getting your ass kicked at zero gravity.

Al Gore is taking his "Live Earth" rock concert to New Jersey. Great place to raise awareness about climate change; good luck seeing Bon Jovi through the smog.

A new report shows there were 736 UFO sightings across Canada last year. Hey, UFO’s can get lost, too.

"American Idol" contestant San jaya Malakar is officially more popular than Harry Potter in terms of yahoo search terms. Even more popular than searches for “San jaya Malakar”? Searches for “Who in God’s name needs to know more about San jaya Malakar?”