A historian claims to have stumbled upon the identity of Jack the Ripper, the notorious Victorian serial killer who murdered at least five East London prostitutes in 1888. Finally, longtime suspect, Jack Hooker Slasher’s good name has been cleared.

Politicians in the Iraq parliament are planning on a two-month recess this summer starting this July. When he heard about the Iraq government’s vacation plans, President Bush said two can play at this, and sent 2000 more troops into the Green Zone for Spring Break.
Sniper Shots for everyone!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will meet Syrian officials today for the first high-level talks between the two countries in years. Of course, you know when they’re meeting with Condi, they’re thinking of Nancy…

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said more guns on college campuses is not the way to prevent campus violence. This may also be the reason Cheney doesn’t get asked to do a lot of commencement speeches.

Don Imus is planning on suing CBS for $40 million. Though 40 million won’t bring back his radio show, it will enable him to finally ho’ proof his ranch.