In Pennsylvania, a bear tried to pull a Girl Scout out of her tent during a troop camping trip. The Girl Scout narrowly escaped, but the bear did not, and is marked down for a dozen boxes of Samoas, six boxes of Thin Mints and four boxes of Do-si-dos.


Larry and Laurie David are separating. The couple issued a joint statement saying the split is amicable, with Laurie wanting to spend more time raising awareness of global warming, and Larry wanting to spend more time raising awareness of drafty seats in Los Angles based restaurants.

In light of the ongoing drought, Los Angeles is urging residents to cut down on their use of water. Lindsay Lohan has already generously pledged to shower in Grey Goose until the drought is over.

After only three days behind bars, Paris Hilton was released because of a medical condition. Doctor’s are said to be working around the clock to dislodge the silver spoon from Paris’ throat.

A top backer of John McCain’s presidential campaign quit over the candidate’s stance on immigration. McCain’s camp plans to replace the backer with a cheaper backer willing to do the stuff his former backer didn’t want to do.