Al Gore's youngest daughter was married Saturday night. Gore beamed as the young couple promised to love, honor and cherish each other until extreme temperatures make their planet uninhabitable.

Reports say “Killer” wasps have infested areas around the State Department's headquarters. After numerous attempts to exterminate the deadly insects failed, State Department officials will now try winning over their hearts and minds.

The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles is expected to pay out a $660 million settlement to those sexually abused by clergy. The huge settlement marks the strongest incentive yet for LA parents to take their children to church instead of auditions.

John Edwards and Hillary Rodham Clinton were overheard discussing their hope of limiting the number of Democrats in presidential debates. A spokesman for Dennis Kucinich said the candidate hasn’t felt this left out since his prom night.

Osama bin Laden appeared in a videotape posted on the Internet on Sunday, in which he praises martyrdom and, just to be a dick, talked about the end of the new Harry Potter movie without offering a spoiler alert.