A woman celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigarette from a candle on her birthday cake. She then put out the birthday candles with 8 pounds of flem.

Things keep getting worse for the President Bush. First, his strategist Karl Rove handed in his resignation. Then yesterday, attorney general Alberto Gonzales announced he’s stepping down. Now today, Laura Bush said she’s leaving the White House to spend more time with her family.

Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho has confirmed to pleading guilty to a disorderly conduct charge earlier this month which accuses him of making sexual overtures to an undercover police officer in a Minnesota airport men’s room. Many note there’s been speculation over Craig’s orientation for years, but now it’s official: he is definitely Republican.

A report released on Tuesday said the United States has 90 guns for every 100 citizens, making it the most heavily armed society in the world and the worst place to cut across your neighbor’s lawn.

The class of 2007 averaged the lowest math and reading SAT scores since 1999. Of course, it’s actually not all that bad if you don’t average in Miss Teen South Carolina’s scores.