Over the weekend, Barack Obama swept three states' primaries on Saturday and won the Maine caucus on Sunday. He followed these victories by beating Bill Clinton at the Grammies for best spoken word album and then kicking Chelsea’s ass in Scrabulous.

Madame Tussauds Washington wax museum revealed its Barack Obama figure Monday. Shortly after, the wax Obama was endorsed by the wax Abraham Lincoln and the wax Liberace.

In a 60 Minutes interview, Hillary said she stays healthy by eating hot peppers. She also confessed to replicating human emotions by cutting raw onions.

Singer Amy Winehouse won five Grammy’s last night. The stunned newcomer could barely contain her excitement over her good fortune, until it was explained to her that a “Grammy” is not a unit of measurement.

A 56-year-old, six time convicted sex offender has won $10 million in the Massachusetts State Lottery. The level 3 sex offender says despite his newfound wealth, he has no plans for an early retirement.
Sorry ladies.