Monday, February 9, 2009


The House voted Wednesday to postpone the deadline for a nationwide switch to digital TV until after June 12, giving more than 6.5 million Americans with analog TVs more time to obtain converter boxes. Or, you know, die off.

Surgeons in Maryland removed a woman's kidney through her vagina so she could give it to her ailing niece. The surgeons were hailed for both saving a life and winning a bet.

Eddie Van Halen said this week that he has created a guitar that even he cannot destroy. Now change ‘guitar’ to ‘liver’ and you’ve got something.

Paris Hilton said that she plans on helping the economy by continuing to shop. In other news, Microsoft, GE and Ford will now focus their entire businesses on making thongs and Chihuahua sweaters.

Geologists monitoring Alaska's Mount Redoubt said Sunday that the volcano is rumbling and emitting steam but has shown no drastic burst in the past 24 hours. So yeah, a volcano is showing more self-control than Christian Bale.

The New Life Church in South Dakota has been conducting boxing matches in a ring in the church to help illustrate the spiritual battles man faces, so says New Life Church’s “Father McGambling Problem”.

Joseph "Joey the Clown" Lombardo was sentenced to life in federal prison for serving as a leader of Chicago's organized crime family. Mafia Don plus clown equal scariest cellmate ever.

Nadya Suleman, the single woman who gave birth to octuplets last week, has been deluged with offers for book deals, TV shows, and other opportunities. One thing she hasn’t been deluged with: marriage proposals.

It was reported that Britney Spears has said she will cancel her upcoming "Circus" tour if she cannot bring her kids with her. If she is allowed to bring them, we could witness the first instance of kids running away from the “Circus” to join society.

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