A mysterious teenaged boy believed by some to be a reincarnation of Lord Buddha has reappeared in eastern Nepal after vanishing for nine months. The boy was said to have been meditating without food or water, though that doesn’t explain his acute case of “Wii elbow”.

Today marks the beginning of Kwanza, as well the annual head scratching of people everywhere wondering why they’ve never known one person who celebrates Kwanza.

Newly found records from a Swiss hotel register confirm that Sigmund Freud did indeed have an affair with his sister-in law. The liaison was long suspected, particularly after the recent discovery of Freud’s lost tome, “Interpretation of Dreams About Leaving Your Cold Fish Bitch Of A Wife And Running Off With Her Sweet Assed Younger Sister.”

In January, Emirates will be the first airline to allow passengers to make cell phone calls on its flights. Oh good, because I never feel like I know enough about the douche bag sitting beside me who thinks he owns the armrest.

The former Miss Nevada USA, dethroned over racy photos posted online, apologized and pleaded for a second chance, or as it’s now being called, “The Forgiveness Competition”.