This New Year’s Eve in Times Square, the retail giant Target will distribute 3D glasses that will transform the extravaganza's fireworks into glowing "Target bull's-eyes." Bull's-eyes. Just what you want to see hovering over your head during a high profile event in a New York City landmark.

In addition to Target’s fireworks display, this year the Wal-Mart smiley face will replace the traditionally dropped ball, and standing in for Dick Clark will be a 124-ounce jar of mayonnaise courtesy of Costco.

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A Hollywood man who makes inflatable extras for films is being sued by a pair of mannequin makers who say they were the first to come up with the idea of replacing humans with dummies. Of course, some might argue, no one’s been doing this longer than McDonalds.

The sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson for drunken driving says his superiors have harassed him ever since. The officer Mel called “sugar tits”, however, only has to deal with the occasional request to help out a fellow officer suffering from low blood sugar.

The Food and Drug Administration announced that meat from cloned animals is safe for human consumption. So, go ahead and enjoy those cloned mad cow burgers.