Sources say Sarah Palin's church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll try giving them 10 minutes with Bristol Palin and see what happens.

Dick Cheney told reporters that he really enjoyed Sarah Palin's joke at the Republican National Convention about the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull. Apparently so- she’s now opening for him at the Dayton Funny Bone, September 25th through the 29th.

Vanity Fair has estimated that would-be First Lady Cindy McCain sported over $300,000 worth of designer clothes at the Republican National Convention. It should be noted that afterwards, Cindy graciously donated all the clothes to her favorite charity, “Republicans Women Wearing Only $200,000 Worth of Designer Clothes”.

John McCain says he’d pay the most well-off members of his cabinet one dollar per year. Said McCain, “if it’s good enough for my gardeners, it’s good enough for my cabinet.”

Barack Obama said in an interview this week that he once considered joining the military. He said ultimately he decided against it after realizing those people really cling to their guns.

While speaking at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire, Joe Biden said Hillary Clinton was more qualified than he was to be vice president. That’s when the Democrats asked the Republicans if they know of any good places to hide a Vice Presidential nominee until November.

A Jewish services group in Dothan, Alabama is offering Jewish families as much as 50,000 dollars to relocate to the small, overwhelmingly Christian town. Jews nationwide responded to the offer by asking the Christian residents of Dothan, “How much to stay put?”

It is being reported that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are expecting twins, while Jessica Simpson’s twins are expecting stares.

Police responding to calls for help from inside a New Jersey home were surprised to discover that the calls were coming from a cockatoo. Unfortunately, the police left the home before realizing the cockatoo was just mimicking the cries of help from the couple it had just bludgeoned to death.

A freshman at Michigan State University was randomly assigned to the same dorm room his father occupied in 1978. A less fun fact: it’s also the same dorm room from which his mother made her maiden “walk of shame”.

A man in Wisconsin with obsessive-compulsive disorder says that he has eaten 23,000 Big Macs since 1972. Obviously, his obsessive-compulsiveness does not include calorie counting.

A man in Washington state was sentenced to 12 years in prison after admitting that he lured his wife into putting her neck into a noose by telling her that he had set up a haunted house in their garage for Halloween. Authorities believe the women would still be alive today if only she hadn’t chosen “trick” over “treat”.

Prosecutors in Russia want to ban "South Park," calling the cartoon series "extremist" after receiving viewer complaints from religious leaders. If I were Kenny, I’d watch my back.

Polar bears at a zoo in Japan are being turned green because of algae growth in their moat…, NOT because their envious that the grizzly bears have free wi-fi and a pool table in their cave.

A 205-kilowatt photovoltaic solar array was unveiled Tuesday on the roof of the Department of Energy's main building in Washington DC. Kind of makes up for the fact that the Department of Energy keeps its Christmas lights up all year round.

Air New Zealand is offering to pay bald travelers to tattoo ads for their speedy check-in system on their heads. Many have already responded to the call, because there’s nothing sexier than bald sell-out.

MSNBC announced Monday that it is replacing Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews as co-anchors of political coverage with after the two failed to provide impartial reporting during the recent party conventions. The NBC owned network hopes to attract less controversy when it welcomes its new lead political anchor team of Al Roker and Chuck.

In time for the start of the NFL season, All-Pro wide receiver Chad Johnson has legally changed his surname to OchoCinco in recognition of his uniform number. As ridiculous as that seems, it beats his first idea of changing his name to his locker combination.

In a new tell-all book, Brittney Spears' mother reveals her daughter lost her virginity to a high school football star when she was only 14. The book goes on to say that Jamie Lynne Spears, determined not to follow in her sister’s footsteps, lost her virginity at 14 to a high school lacrosse star.


It’s been announced that there will be two more Spider Man movies, although the plot lines may be running a bit thin. The next one is just Tobey Maguire getting the Spidey suit let out a few inches.

This past Sunday, after twelve years and 5124 performances on Broadway, the hit show "Rent'" ended its run. And so begins the show’s next incarnation, “What do you mean we’re not getting our security deposit back?”

Police in Utah say actor Gary Coleman hit a fan with his truck outside a bowling alley after an argument. Police are still trying to determine what the dispute was over and how Coleman reached the gas pedal.

According to new reports, medical students are avoiding careers in general internal medicine, which could exacerbate the US doctor shortage. Thankfully, due to the success and staying power of shows like ER and Gray’s Anatomy, there will be no shortage of fake doctors in the years to come.