Monday, October 6, 2008

Last week's jokes, today!



During an interview with Katie Couric on Tuesday, Sarah Palin said that she considers herself a "feminist", a point supported by the fact that she was first runner up in Alaska’s “Little Miss Feminist” pageant, circa 1982.

A 26 year-old Nebraskan teacher was sentenced to six years in federal prison for fleeing to Mexico with a 13 year-old boy so she could have sex with him. An unfortunate ending to what the boy described as the ‘best field trip ever’.

Mathematicians at UCLA have discovered a 13 million-digit prime number, a long sought milestone that makes them eligible for a 100,000 dollar prize, which you know they’re just going to go out and blow on chalk.

For the second time this year, a GPS system has been blamed for a car-train collision after a driver followed the device's instructions and turned onto train tracks. As a precaution, drivers with the GPS system are being told to ignore any directions preceded by, "Ever feel like nothing matters anymore?"

Last Sunday the New York Mets lost their final game at Shea Stadium and were once again eliminated from the playoffs. The team looks forward to starting next season in their new stadium that wasn’t built over an ancient Indian burial ground.

A man in Florida saved his dog from a shark by diving in the water and punching the shark in the head until it let his pet go, though as far as the shark's friends know, he bumped into a reef.

Customs officers at the San Paulo, Brazil airport stopped a man who was trying to smuggle 200 birds onto a plane. Police grew suspicious when the man started to take off before the plane.

Jatropha, a plant indigenous to Haiti that is believed to release the souls of the dead, is being considered an alternative energy source for cars, with some vehicles getting up to 35 ghosts to the gallon.

While appearing on Meet the Press this Sunday, Bill Clinton called John McCain a great man, but failed to say the same thing about Barack Obama. In his defense, the guy is tired of sleeping on the couch.

A 71 year-old man in an Oregon hospital, who was being treated for abdominal pain, was mistakenly told that he was pregnant. Not as bad as when doctors at the same hospital diagnosed a pregnant woman as fat.

The fear of losing while bidding on items online can push people to pay too much for an item, according to a new study conducted by a guy who paid $732 for pair of Chinese handcuffs.

During a Civil War re-enactment in Virginia, a Confederate soldier fired a real shot that hit a Union soldier. Unfortunately, for a while there, everyone just thought the Union soldier was just a really good re-enactor.

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